All the Faces of Love
by Gaelcelt
Summary: Robert Frobisher/Rufus Sixsmith. Songfiction. Sixsmith reaches Frobisher in time and stops his suicide attempt. Appalled that Robert thinks that things would be better if he was dead, Rufus adamantly tells Robert that his suicide would have destroyed him. Inspired by Charles Aznavour's song "Tous les Visages de l'Amour".


I own nothing, not the characters, the song, or _Cloud Atlas_.

Robert Frobisher/Rufus Sixsmith. Songfiction. Sixsmith reaches Frobisher in time and stops his suicide attempt. Appalled that Robert thinks that things would be better if he was dead, Rufus adamantly tells Robert that his suicide would have destroyed him.

Frobisher had not made any sexual advances toward Ayrs, but he has not been without trouble.

Charles Aznavour really made an impact with his song "Tous les Visages de l'Amour" ("All the Faces of Love"); some might recognize Elvis Costello's English-language version, "She", featured in the film "Notting Hill". This song sounds so perfect for Frobisher and Sixsmith, in music and message…! Even though the song's lyrics are addressing a woman, that's just a minor snag.

All the Faces of Love

Rufus Sixsmith could not believe what he had just prevented. He'd arrived in the Low Countries to try to help his beloved Robert Frobisher in the midst of a crisis regarding Vivian Ayrs and he found Robert alone in a dingy hotel with a pistol in his hand.

Sixsmith silently gave thanks that he'd found his lover in time, feeling like all his blood had drained from him through his ankles. Returning to reality, he found his voice and confronted Frobisher.

"You bloody fool, you were going to kill yourself?! What in God's name do you think you're doing?!"

Frobisher flinched at the accusation, but quickly spat, "You wouldn't understand, Sixsmith."

Sixsmith looked even more incredulous, "I 'wouldn't understand'?! What does that bloody mean? You could have escaped your trouble with Ayrs here and come back to the safety of Britain!"

Tears pricked at Sixsmith's eyes and quickly cascaded down his cheeks, but he didn't care, "How could you do this?! I love you more than I can ever say and…!" He drew a shuddering breath, "How could you do something so selfish?"

"Selfish?" Frobisher grumbled, "Sixsmith, I feel hollow. Like the "Cloud Atlas Sextet" is the greatest work that I could ever achieve. I could never compose anything even near that caliber again… what's the point of living if I can't?"

Sixsmith reeled, "Don't you think that _I_ would notice your absence?! I've felt your absence since you left Cambridge for Zeitgheim… I hate to think of what you've suffered, not just with Ayrs but with everything that you told me about your family life."

Frobisher scoffed at the mention of his family. They had long suspected that he was queer and had made many scathing innuendos about it throughout his adolescence. As if it wasn't enough that in the fleeting moments that men of the Oscar Wilde sort were discussed, they were described as effeminates, as frivolous quasi-women. That such men were not truly men but a disgrace and an abomination.

"I want to help you, Robert…!" Sixsmith implored him, red-eyed.

"Help me? How? You're a scientist, but you're not a doctor. Don't try to save someone who is beyond rescue…! Look at me; disgraced, broke, disowned, alone…!"

Sixsmith gritted his teeth and grabbed Frobisher by the shoulders, "Don't shut me out, Robert. Suicide isn't the answer to your problems! Talk to me! Tell me what it is that's troubling you."  
Sixsmith pulled Frobisher into a tight embrace, sobbing, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you…! Whatever happens, darling, please don't think that death is your only answer!"  
"The boundaries between life and death are but convictions, my dear Sixsmith." Robert mutters.  
Sixsmith squeezes him tighter.  
"Robert, stay within that boundary for once in your life…! Don't you think I would notice if you were gone?"  
"Sixsmith, I-"  
"I want you to be happy, Robert! Please believe me when I say that you have more to offer than the Sextet…!"

Robert was speechless. The sound of his lover sobbing into his shoulder made him realize just how reckless that he'd been, how little that he valued himself.  
"You're not alone, my love. You have me…!" Rufus tried to reassure Robert, "If you're broke and disowned, then I'll face that challenge with you. Please don't go where I can't follow you…!

"I love you, Robert. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy…!"  
Robert gingerly slid into the embrace, "Sixsmith, I'm sorry…! I never wanted to frighten you."

Rufus slid a hand through Robert's raven curls, "I've never known anybody like you, Robert. You amaze me every day. I listen to your music and I wish that I could compose half as well as you can."

Robert withdrew from the embrace and looked Rufus in the eye, "You truly wish that?"  
"I might be good at physics and indeed I enjoy the sciences, but I have also longed to play and compose music," Rufus was flushed and red-eyed, "With you, I get to hear some of the most beautiful music… you're so romantic with me that I swear that it's a dream sometimes… and I cannot begin to say how happy and how fortunate that you are real, that I have you in my life."

Robert smiled slightly, "You always were sentimental, Sixsmith," he remarked flippantly, out of habit.  
Rufus winced and Robert went pale, "I'm sorry, dearest-! I'm not accustomed to hearing somebody saying such sweet things to me."  
Rufus gazed at Robert with watery, glassy eyes, "I want you to understand and accept how amazing that you are, Robert. You make me want to be the best that I can be," he cradled Robert's face in his hands, "I look forward to every morning because I miss you when you're asleep."

Robert, unaccustomed to receiving such tenderness, was again dumbstruck. Rufus eagerly awaited mornings because he missed him? Robert knew that Rufus had missed him in this journey to the Low Countries, but to hear that Rufus looked forward to awakening to his face sent a jolt of determination through him.

Rufus wasn't sure how Robert would respond to his outpouring of emotion and it frightened him. Would Robert simply brush it off? Would it register on some level, at least? It was agony that he didn't know.

What more would it take for Rufus to convince Robert that he was valued, that he was important to his lover, that he mattered? Rufus tried to prepare himself for whatever Robert's answer would be, unsure of how he would proceed but becoming fully willing to fight for the man he loved, regardless of the type of fight that it would be.

Robert sighed as he returned to the embrace, exhausted by the drama of the afternoon.  
"You're not going to let me go without a fight, are you Sixsmith?" Robert remarked as he whispered into Rufus' ear, "And while I know that you're not naïve, I can see that you're fully prepared to do anything to save me…" his voice broke, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion as he realized what he'd done to Rufus, "And I can't begin to thank you…! Thank you for believing in me, in wanting my redemption…! I always thought that I loved you more than you loved me, and now that you've shown me just how wrong that I was…! Oh god, I'm shaking…!"

They hugged as tightly as they could without hurting each other, both men crying in relief, for Rufus that he'd reached Robert and for Robert that Rufus saw the value in him and wanted him to be happy.

"I'm afraid, my Rufus…!" Robert whispered anxiously, "Both of us know that it will be an enormous undertaking to restore my reputation and my finances…!"  
"I'm not leaving you, darling," Rufus was insistent, "I'm not going to leave you to do this alone…! I'm also afraid, but promise me that you won't harm yourself."  
Robert hesitantly nodded, "For you I won't pull any more antics like this, but I'm afraid of what is to come"  
"I'm afraid too, darling, but if we're going to be walking a tightrope over a bed of fire we can at least hold onto each other."  
The reunited lovers shared a slow, sensuous kiss, reassured that they were together again and that they would stand together regardless of what hardships would lie in store.


End file.
